So, i've never been a huge fan of Jars of Clay... in fact during the height of my obsession with Contemporary Christian music in the mid 90s (permission to mock granted), i was anti-Jars of clay in the battle royale (actual or fictitious i will never know) between Jars of Clay and DC Talk... A little older and a little wiser, i've come to see that DC Talk was not all that great, and perhaps... just maybe... Jars of Clay is not all that bad... I've really come to like this song off their most recent album:
Faith Enough
By: Jars of Clay
The ice is thin enough for walkin'
The rope is worn enough to climb
My throat is dry enough for talkin'
The world is crumblin' but I know why
The world is crumblin' but I know why
The storm is wild enough for sailing
The bridge is weak enough to cross
This body frail enough for fighting
I'm home enough to know I'm lost
Home enough to know I'm lost
It's just enough to be strong
In the broken places, in the broken places
It's just enough to be strong
Should the world rely on faith tonight
The land unfit enough for planting
Barren enough to conceive
Poor enough to gain the treasure
Enough a cynic to believe
Enough a cynic to believe
Confused enough to know direction
The sun eclipsed enough to shine
Be still enough to finally tremble
See enough to know I'm blind
See enough to know I'm blind
Should the world rely on faith tonight
When I first heard it, i really enjoyed the literary devices used in juxtaposing seemingly paradoxical images to reveal deeper truths...But as i listened to it more, the words in the chorus, "it's just enough to be strong in the broken places..." branded itself into my mind. It reminds me of Ephesians 6, where Paul talks about the armor of God:
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
This whole idea of standing firm is repeated over and over in the new testament... i like it... its not overly ambitious... in fact, it only requires one thing of us: presence. It sounds simple, but its not always easy.
"It's just enough to be strong, in the broken places, in the broken places..."
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
... i still believe this...
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.
-- St. Francis of Assisi
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.
-- St. Francis of Assisi
Friday, September 12, 2008
Communion...
I been reading some Jean Vanier lately… Him and Nouwen make one heckuva powerhouse couple… anyway, he has some pretty good things to say…
He talks about the experience of deep and utter loneliness. But then he goes on to talk a lot about love, and letting love transform us from lonely creatures into human beings. He says that there are 7 aspects of love that truly transforms the heart:
1) To reveal
2) To understand
3) To communicate
4) To celebrate
5) To empower
6) To be in communion with one another
7) To forgive
While all these sound great, his bit on communion with one another was piercing. I wouldn’t be able to do it justice, so here are some snippets:
“Communion is mutual trust, mutual belonging; it is the to-and-fro movement of love between two people where each one gives and each one receives. Communion is not a fixed state, it is an ever-growing and deepening reality that can turn sour if one person tries to possess the other, thus preventing growth. Communion is mutual vulnerability and openness one to the other. It is liberation for both, indeed, where both are allowed to be themselves, where both are called to grow in greater freedom and openness to others and to the universe.
Trust is a beautiful form of love. When we are generous, we give money, time, knowledge. In trust we give ourselves. But we can only give of ourselves if we trust that we will be well-received by someone.
Communion is at the heart of the mystery of our humanity. It means accepting the presence of another inside oneself, as well as accepting the reciprocal call to enter into another. Communion, which implies the security and insecurity of trust, is a constant struggle against all the powers of fear and selfishness in us, as well as the seemingly resilient human need to control another person.
To a certain extent we lose control in our own lives when we are open to others. Communion of hearts is a beautiful but also a dangerous thing. Beautiful because it is a new form of liberation; it brings a new joy because we are no longer alone. We are close even if we are far away. Dangerous because letting down our inner barriers means that we can be easily hurt. Communion makes us vulnerable.”
In another section he expounds by saying, “Communion is the trust that bonds us together […] it is the trust that comes from the intuitive knowledge that we are safe in the hands of another and that we can be open and vulnerable, one to another. Communion is not static; it is an evolving reality. Trust is continually called to grow and to deepen, or it is wounded and diminishes. It is a trust that the other will not possess or crush you, but rejoices in your gifts and calls you to growth and to freedom. Such a trust calls forth trust in yourself.
One who is weak, who lives in true communion with another, will not see his own weakness as something to be judged, as something negative, he will sense that he is appreciated, that he has a place.”
“When one loves with trust, one does not give things, one gives oneself and, so, calls forth a communion of hearts.”
This whole idea that communion, true communion, is inevitably linked with liberation and empowerment….that we are not for ourselves…
Dietrich Bonheoffer wrote: “In the language of the bible, freedom is not something man has for himself but something he has for others. It is not a possession, a presence, an object, but a relationship and nothing else. In truth, freedom is a relationship between two persons. Being free means ‘being free for the other,’ because the other has bound me to him. Only in relationship with the other am I free” and Gustavo Gutierrez continues, “The freedom to which we are called presupposes the going out of oneself, the breaking down of our selfishness and of all the structures that support our selfishness; the foundation of this freedom is openness to others. The fullness of liberation – a free gift from Christ – is communion with God and with other men.”
(alright...i'll stop plagiarizing from those older and wiser...)
Communion…its such a tricky thing... whether it be between ourselves and God, or ourselves and another human being… its our deepest desire and yet our greatest fear … to belong but not feel trapped, to be known but not possessed, to be supported but not controlled, to be challenged but not manipulated, to be empowered but not untimely pushed, to be held but not owned … There's a fine line between this true love and violation of the human spirit. we so easily could stunt the growth of someone who has become the object of our communion rather than being the subject with whom we commune. we so easily come to misunderstand God... we often run from stuff like this... fear overtakes us and we squelch the desire, telling our hearts that its safer to remain on this side than risk the inevitable hurt of the other side... but the safe side unknowingly erodes our hearts as we settle for a misunderstanding of God and false unity with those around us...
... alright, well.... good luck with that friends....
He talks about the experience of deep and utter loneliness. But then he goes on to talk a lot about love, and letting love transform us from lonely creatures into human beings. He says that there are 7 aspects of love that truly transforms the heart:
1) To reveal
2) To understand
3) To communicate
4) To celebrate
5) To empower
6) To be in communion with one another
7) To forgive
While all these sound great, his bit on communion with one another was piercing. I wouldn’t be able to do it justice, so here are some snippets:
“Communion is mutual trust, mutual belonging; it is the to-and-fro movement of love between two people where each one gives and each one receives. Communion is not a fixed state, it is an ever-growing and deepening reality that can turn sour if one person tries to possess the other, thus preventing growth. Communion is mutual vulnerability and openness one to the other. It is liberation for both, indeed, where both are allowed to be themselves, where both are called to grow in greater freedom and openness to others and to the universe.
Trust is a beautiful form of love. When we are generous, we give money, time, knowledge. In trust we give ourselves. But we can only give of ourselves if we trust that we will be well-received by someone.
Communion is at the heart of the mystery of our humanity. It means accepting the presence of another inside oneself, as well as accepting the reciprocal call to enter into another. Communion, which implies the security and insecurity of trust, is a constant struggle against all the powers of fear and selfishness in us, as well as the seemingly resilient human need to control another person.
To a certain extent we lose control in our own lives when we are open to others. Communion of hearts is a beautiful but also a dangerous thing. Beautiful because it is a new form of liberation; it brings a new joy because we are no longer alone. We are close even if we are far away. Dangerous because letting down our inner barriers means that we can be easily hurt. Communion makes us vulnerable.”
In another section he expounds by saying, “Communion is the trust that bonds us together […] it is the trust that comes from the intuitive knowledge that we are safe in the hands of another and that we can be open and vulnerable, one to another. Communion is not static; it is an evolving reality. Trust is continually called to grow and to deepen, or it is wounded and diminishes. It is a trust that the other will not possess or crush you, but rejoices in your gifts and calls you to growth and to freedom. Such a trust calls forth trust in yourself.
One who is weak, who lives in true communion with another, will not see his own weakness as something to be judged, as something negative, he will sense that he is appreciated, that he has a place.”
“When one loves with trust, one does not give things, one gives oneself and, so, calls forth a communion of hearts.”
This whole idea that communion, true communion, is inevitably linked with liberation and empowerment….that we are not for ourselves…
Dietrich Bonheoffer wrote: “In the language of the bible, freedom is not something man has for himself but something he has for others. It is not a possession, a presence, an object, but a relationship and nothing else. In truth, freedom is a relationship between two persons. Being free means ‘being free for the other,’ because the other has bound me to him. Only in relationship with the other am I free” and Gustavo Gutierrez continues, “The freedom to which we are called presupposes the going out of oneself, the breaking down of our selfishness and of all the structures that support our selfishness; the foundation of this freedom is openness to others. The fullness of liberation – a free gift from Christ – is communion with God and with other men.”
(alright...i'll stop plagiarizing from those older and wiser...)
Communion…its such a tricky thing... whether it be between ourselves and God, or ourselves and another human being… its our deepest desire and yet our greatest fear … to belong but not feel trapped, to be known but not possessed, to be supported but not controlled, to be challenged but not manipulated, to be empowered but not untimely pushed, to be held but not owned … There's a fine line between this true love and violation of the human spirit. we so easily could stunt the growth of someone who has become the object of our communion rather than being the subject with whom we commune. we so easily come to misunderstand God... we often run from stuff like this... fear overtakes us and we squelch the desire, telling our hearts that its safer to remain on this side than risk the inevitable hurt of the other side... but the safe side unknowingly erodes our hearts as we settle for a misunderstanding of God and false unity with those around us...
... alright, well.... good luck with that friends....
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Let's just be honest...
being back home is hard. i imagined that i would live in denial for a few days about the permanence of this move home, but eventually i'd hit bottom due to a single earth shattering event, be in a funk for a couple days, then bounce back to my usual vibrant self... this is not true. im not so convinced that theres actually a bottom... i think theres a progression, a series of bottoms, that slowly turns me toward facing life here. im constantly having these moments of, "bah...im gonna be here awhile..." and every time these moments hit, i suddenly want to break down and cry. i always hope that that moment will be the last of its kind, but it never is... i think its gonna be awhile...
i still have trouble sleeping at night... i stay up till 2:30/3 in the morning asking myself, "what am i doing here?" i havent found the answer... i guess its only been 2 weeks, 2 days, and 15 hours... seems a little longer than that...
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