i been home for about 1 year and 2 mos now, and as i look back over this last little bit of time, i realize that i've let go of a lot of things...
when i moved home last august, one of the most cathartic things i did was clean up my book shelves... in that first week of being home, i turned my bedroom upside down cleaning from 9 or 10 in the morning until 2 or 3am... i looked through every paper, school project, book, article of clothing, CD, etc, throwing away all things that no longer represented who i am... but by far, the purging of all things past was most difficult when it came to the books... partly because these books that had shaped my values, my faith, my worldview, i could no longer respect... i couldnt even read some of the titles without cynical thoughts dancing through my head. but instead of patiently attempting to understand the thought processes behind some of this literature nor in order to unlearn the dysfunctional and flat out untruth told in some of these books, i decided to give them away... to get them out of my room, and out of my life (literally and figuratively). In those moments it wasn't about unlearning misguided perspectives, or unlearning incomplete truths, it was a blanket forgetting of all things past...
in this last year and 2 months, i've treated many aspects of life, as i did those books... forgetting rather than unlearning/relearning...
tonight i was reminded... there are some things i wish i hadn't forgotten so easily, some things i wish didn't feel so far away...
PS: some books i distinctly remember being embarrassed to own even back then, but don't worry i've kept the ones which i cannot rightly deny their impact on my life, for better or worse... (im withholding authors and titles, in order to keep my dignity...)
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